As I'm settling in my new home, and my new neighborhood, I've been feeling a bit unsettled. It's one of those feelings that a major change needs to occur personally. Not that buying a new house wasn't a major change after living in the other house for 19 years. I'm 46 years old have never felt an attachment to a structure, like a house. While I lived in different places, it was always my "home" but I don't miss my old homes. However, I do miss the people that were in my life, especially family that is now gone. My favorite place that I lived was in Rockaway, NY. It was mostly because of my Aunt, who passed away many years ago, but was also because of the friends I had there too. I also knew people just because they lived on my street or people that just walked to different places. The feeling of community had escaped me the entire time I've lived in Texas. Now I live on cul-de-sac, and as I drove home and turned on the street I live on, about a dozen young kids were playing in the street. When I got out of my car, the kids all started to say hello to me, by my name. I even had one that was on his scooter pull up and start talking to me. It's a funny thing, because that hasn't happened to me since I lived in NY. Not only that but, I know the names of most of the neighbors that live on this street.... Maybe I will have a new favorite place here.
Now I just have to figure out why I'm feeling a bit unsettled in other aspects in my life. At times, I still feel like I don't know what I want to do when I grow up... and am considering going back to school for something....
The view from the upstairs game room where I can see the neighbors dogs play.
The view from my upstairs office. It's early so all the kids are in school right now instead of playing in front of my house.
I know what you mean about that sense of community, of belonging. I think we as humans need that. I'm glad you have it in your new home. The unsettled feeling may just be you, as an artist, absorbing the sorrow of the world; there is certainly enough of it floating in the ether. But it could also be that you are getting ready to start something new, or some new opportunity is on its way to you. Sit with the unsettled feeling; don't let it unsettle you, lol. Just let things unfold. xo
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, the world is unsettled, and I feel it. My art has taken a back seat in my life and I'm frustrated with that too. There are things in my chosen career that Im not happy with and I dont know what to do. Like you said, I must let things unfold..... Thank you!
Delete