The clouds cast over San Antonio the last couple of days and finally broke the 100+ record of consecutive daily highs. It was in the 90's and my skin didn't feel like I was getting scorched by the sun as I walked to and from my car going on appointments or to the store. I have so many things to say today.
I have been stressed, depressed, overworked and just plain sad. My work level stress has finally calmed down as the interest rates rise and that market has slowed. This past year and a half, there was no setting appointments a day or two early, it was as soon as a house hit the market I was off running, bidding against 20 other offers for my clients, and most of the time losing to people who had an extra 20, 30 or 50 thousand extra dollars to pay over the market value. It was frustrating for me and for my clients. It seemed every phone call I received I would have to jump up and go work at that moment. My life felt very stressful. I went on a vacation to New Mexico to see something different and destress, only to be inundated with phone calls, emails, not real chance to relax and decompress. I did the same thing going to visit family in NY. I was running away to decompress to no avail.
This month really was a game changer. I don't know what my future holds financially, but my mind is finally relaxed, my phone isn't constantly ringing or dinging with text messages, and I am able to set up appointments at a more normal pace.
This past Saturday I got up, started painting on my canvas at 8am (I hadn't touched that canvas in several years). Around noon I went into my studio and finished copper foiling my 2 remaining stained glass windows, cut some glass tiles to draw on, and before I knew it the day passed me by. It was the most stress free, calm, lose all track of time kind of day. It is what I was searching for in Mew Mexico and NY and here it was in my own studio. My music was playing and my phone wasn't ringing or dinging!
On another note, I was working with a lady, who is now 81 years old. When I first met her I thought she had a stunning, glamorous look about her even at her age. You could still see how beautiful she once was. When I did see a portrait of her in her younger years I wasn't wrong. She was drop dead gorgeous! As we got to know each other over the summer, she informed me that she had published a book about her life experience. I am a sucker for books so I HAD to buy it! She told me she was very blunt about things in the book and she couldn't promote it because of her family and friends. It was of course published under a pen name because it was scandalous, and on the copyright page, the note states, This is a true story, names and places have been changed. It was VERY erotic (XXX) and it was not professionally edited, or at times politically correct, but I couldn't put it down and read it in just a few hours! As I finished the book, I was in awe of how she did live in that time of her life, and how it all came about for her.
She emailed me to let me know how she felt: Now that I have been out of hormones for at least 20-30 yrs., I can't believe I was that woman. I have come to the conclusion, love does not make the world go around, it is hormones. :)
Memories of an Erotic Soul by Lorelei Von Boehm-Renard
